dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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