I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
