he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
