Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
nutella sex= disaster
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
