So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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