I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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