Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
