She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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