Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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