Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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