On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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