if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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