I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
