omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
