My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize