butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
