why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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