I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So. Much. Porn.
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