hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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