Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize