ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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