I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.