I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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