i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
