if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
