Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
