lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
