We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
