IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
