Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
