Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
