this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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