I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize