ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just invented taco cereal.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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