drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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