He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
