it wasn't lemon gatorade
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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