Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
