Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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