I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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