I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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