toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
