This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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