Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You are a genius and a whore.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
