How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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