just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
