Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
