adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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