Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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