So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
