summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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