It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
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Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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