best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
