Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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