its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
