i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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