I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
