So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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