to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
